Clients come to me for a variety of reasons. Relationship issues, work issues, loss of purpose, loss of hope, struggles with addiction, depression, anxiety, etc. The list is endless. After extensive discussion and “peeling away the onion” as we say, a majority of the people I see suffer from a few things. Some have experienced trauma. It has affected their lives at seemingly every turn. It is real and the suffering often feels unbearable. MOST PEOPLE however, suffer from thoughts that the world, other people, or even themselves "must” meet a certain expectation that they have irrationally defined, OR failure to establish Clear, Measurable Goals aimed at a vision of the future that is so compelling that the trivial things in life cease to interfere.
New Year’s Resolutions typically do not work for the above reason. If I state that “I want to lose 50 pounds this year”, that is not a goal. That’s a wish, a dream. The person likely to benefit the most from that wish is the gym that you join and stop attending a month later. There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, improve your marriage, increase your productivity or performance, or any other healthy endeavor you choose. But simply stating you want to and writing down your desire does not create the result you’re after.
When do you want to lose the total weight (improve the relationship, become more productive, etc.) by? Set a date, write it down.
Measure backwards: How much do you want to lose in the next six months? The next three months, the next month?
What is your process? Which gym will you join? How often will you go? Do you need a trainer? What exactly are you going to do when you get there? How does your diet need to support this? (that may be another goal entirely)
If you dream it it’s just that, a dream. If you write it down it becomes possible, when you schedule it the result you’re looking for happens.
