Depression in men is often overlooked because it is usually associated with being a ‘female’ problem, and our society wants men to be strong, brave and fearless. Confessing that you struggle with your everyday life because of depression is considered equal to losing your masculinity. As a result of social stigma, men tend to hide their feelings, refusing to open up to a close person or seek help from a professional. Instead, they hide behind unhealthy coping mechanisms such as trying to drown their thoughts in alcohol or demonstrating avoidant behavior e.g spending too much time at work.  However, you need to keep in mind that depression is a real problem, and like all other problems it won’t go away if you ignore it hard enough. Instead, it is likely to get worse if it is left untreated, which can seriously and potentially irreversibly damage your health and relationships.

The most common symptoms that people with depression experience are constant feeling of sadness, emptiness and hopelessness, no longer being able to enjoy things and activities that once used to be your source of happiness, isolation from family members and friends, change in sleeping schedule due to insomnia or sleeping too much, as well as loss of work productivity and sexual drive. Please note that a person doesn’t need to have all these symptoms in order to be diagnosed with depression, you could only suffer from one or two of these, and yet they can be bad enough to make your life feel unbearable. One of the most serious symptoms of depression are suicidal thoughts which are derived from the feeling of worthlessness and constant sadness. When these thoughts cross a man’s mind often enough, it really doesn’t take a very big trigger for someone to decide to end his life. While studies have shown that women have attempted suicide more often, men have had more ‘successful’ attempts to take their lives. Every life lost to suicide and depression is a personal tragedy, and as a society we still have a long way to go in destigmatizing mental illnesses and making therapy available for everyone without the fear of judgement. 

Apart from your mind and thoughts, depression also takes its toll on your body. Constantly feeling exhausted, frequent headaches, stomach cramps and diarrhea, change of eating habits – either loss of appetite or eating too much, predominately junk food are all signs that are non-specific, but clearly indicate that your body is also struggling to cope with depression. Because of social prejudices, many men that suffer from depression visit a doctor only after they experience the physical symptoms of the disorder. The inability to find an organic cause of these symptoms may indicate that a person is suffering from depression. Therefore, it is very important to consider a holistic approach when it comes to depression, and always remember that the purpose of the treatment is to cure the person, not just eliminate the symptoms.

Sadly, since depression is such a hot topic nowadays, a lot of people from all walks of life consider themselves qualified enough to give out advice on how to treat and even cure depression by using anything from magic pills and essential oils to fitness regimens and shopping sprees. There are millions of articles available on the internet and published in lifestyle magazines that present depression as a thing that is only in your head and it will go away if you trust the advice of some self-proclaimed health guru. As a therapist, I urge any of you reading this article to take everything you read on the internet with a grain of salt and never trust anyone that is not a professional with a serious issue like depression. Also, you need to keep in mind that a treatment that has proven to work for another person may not be as successful for you when you try to follow his/her medical advice. That is why you need to be evaluated by a professional who will choose which of the many successful treatment options will be the best for you. 

Another very important thing that needs to be said over and over when talking about mental health is that not every sadness is depression. Self-diagnosed depression is something very common nowadays thanks to the availability of various internet tests and checklists that can supposedly evaluate your mental state. Please remember that only high-trained professionals that have spent many years on their education are qualified to diagnose your health problems, so if you find yourself struggling with symptoms of depression or any similar disorder you should schedule an appointment with a therapist qualified to help you. If you feel like what you’re experiencing could be some form of depression and you want to talk to someone about it, feel free to contact me.